Dear DV,I've never posted, but I am a long time reader. I love your blog. Keep fighting the good fight. I've been in a relationship with a man I dearly love since I finished law school in 2006. We've been living together since last year and have talked about marriage "down the road". I'll be 30 next year and would like to either be a mother or have one on the way by then. The problem is my boyfriend is in no rush. The last time I mentioned it to him he said 'when the economy gets right'. I'm like, when is that? I can't spend the next few years in suspense. I need to know I am with someone who wants the same thing I do. 'Yes, but later' is no longer an option.
Please advise,
ComingOrGoing
Denmark Vesey said ...

Hello COG, welcome to the blog. Read your piece. I feel your pain. I advise you to get pregnant. That's what men and women were designed to do at this stage in life. I think "too much talking" is a bigger epidemic in this country than the "swine flu". Couples can talk about marriage and family to the point where they get in their own way.
Also, most men are scared. Marriage and family is heterosexuality in action. Between the vaccines and Plantation memes, most men today have been subliminally programmed to fear marriage and commitment to a woman. Thus the large number of De Facto Homos (30+ year old men without Chicks).
Just get pregnant, show him the sonogram and get married. Down the road, he will appreciate you kick starting his heterosexuality.
Remember where you heard it best.
Fearlessly Faithful said ...
So I'm one of the BIGGEST fans of DV and I took his "just get pregnant" advice in February 2004. Where that advice led me is here...Today I celebrate the 4th birthday of my beautiful, brilliant and healthy son who arrived with perfect timing..on my 38th birthday.I was engaged to my husband when I got pregnant but he was wavering. Getting pregnant certainly motivated him to follow through on the promise and marry. We enjoyed a beautiful wedding celebration and some blessed moments as husband and wife and as parents. However, he often wavered on whether he wanted to be married.
Today, we're embarking down the road of divorce. He would say he's committed to his son, just not committed to marriage. I would say he's committed to fear and failure. As DV would teach, there's nothing more noble than being a PRESENT husband and father. Only the constant presence of a father can lead a boy to manhood. It's this absence of "father" in so many lives that I attribute to the multitude of FEARFUL men who are lost at being "MEN."
My love for my son will motivate and inspire me to tell him EVERYDAY that his daddy LOVES him, can't wait to see him and is the funniest, tallest (despite his 5 feet, 8 inches) and smartest of them all.
So the choice of whether or not "to just get pregnant," it may or may not motivate a man. The question is, WHAT KIND OF MAN DO YOU WANT AND NEED? The man who has a vision for his life that includes a wife and child and fearlessly accepts that noble undertaking (because we know it's not easy but comes with great rewards) or the man who will only respond to circumstance????? I want the former. Is that visionary man easy to find...absolutely when you approach life fearlessly and faithfully with your own vision.
So my advice (and I'm still living and learning) is to choose the MAN who shares your vision! Always choose love and certainly choose a MAN.












































The person (who has no children) said to me that because my son is young, OF COURSE he should be vaccinated. They said, "how could you not? Don't you know that children are the highest risk? Don't you want to protect your child? Didn't you see the piece on 60 Minutes about the 15 year old who almost died? That was so scary. Do you want that to happen to your son?"
Mind you, this conversation was taking place in a courtroom. I said, "Yes, I saw the 60 Minutes piece. And? If you can give me a reason beyond scare tactics as to why I should allow my son to be the government's guinea pig, I might humor you by continuing to debate this."